PGA Rule Changes for Seniors

The AARP has negotiated with the PGA to modify the Rules of Golf for seniors:

Rule 1.a.5 A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and
placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or
rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior should not be
penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6 (B) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit
the tree. This is Simply bad luck and luck has no place in a
scientific game. The senior Player must estimate the distance the ball
would have traveled if it had Not hit the tree and play the ball from
there.

Rule 3.B.3(G) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing
ball is on or Near the course and will eventually be found and
pocketed by someone Else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not
to compound the felony by Charging himself or herself with a penalty.

Rule 4.c.7(h) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is
deemed to have Dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of
Golf.

Rule 5. Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be
blown in, may Be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than
three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the
game.

Rule 6.a.9(k) There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If
penny-pinching golf Course owners bought sufficient land, this would
not occur. The senior Golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule 7..G.15(z) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as
golf balls should Float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for
manufacturers' Shortcomings.

Rule 8.k.9( S) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved
by purchasing new Golf equipment. Since this is financially
impractical for many senior Golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be
subtracted for using old Equipment.

Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes.