1. The Player who is best able to stand should hit first.
2. Shorter hitters should stand on a box.
3. Tee-off as soon as the group ahead of you pisses you off.
4. Carry an extra ball in your sock.

1. Hit when ready or safe; you have no honor.
2. Take the most inappropriate clubs to your ball and over-hit without delay.
3. Have your group watch (and laugh) where each shot goes.
4. Limit search for lost balls to 3 minutes (unless it's yours).
5. Pick up and place ball on green upon reaching double par (or the protecting bunker).

1. Place your clubs between green and next tee (they will be there next time you play this course....really).
2. Study your putt while others are putting (singing and coughing allowed on the beer hole).
3. Continue putting until holed out (even if it takes all night).
4. Leave the green immediately after holing out and proceed to the next beer. Complete your scorecard (as best you can recall) after you're off the green.

1. Upon reaching the green, if the group in front of you is waiting to hit on the next tee, stand in a safe area and have another beer, thus delaying the group behind you even more..

1. Mark your score (when no one is looking) on the way to the next tee.
2. When driving a cart, drop your partner at his ball, then, continue to yours.. letting the idiot walk the rest of the way.

1. If you fall more than one shot behind, our staff will sell you a beer.
2. If you remain behind, you will be asked to forfeit your tee shot and buy another round of beer.
3. If these steps do not solve the problem, you can be asked to leave the course and put more beer on ice for the benefit of the other golfers.

REMEMBER, SLOW DRINKING AFFECTS EVERYONE.

PLEASE COOPERATE FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF ALL