2000 SUMMER SOLSTICE™
Dear Fellow and Would-Be Solsticians:
It’s that time again, Summer Solstice™ invitation time, but this year with a twist: The Summer Solstice™ will be held -- are you ready for this? -- at the time of the summer solstice, June 21, 22 and 23. The calendar will finally be in sync with The Summer Solstice™.
So this might be your invitation to The Summer Solstice 2000™ , which will revert to its roots, going back to the original site of The Summer Solstice™, the Malone Golf and Country Club. The new World Headquarters will be the original Headquarters, the luxurious five-star motel, dining lounge and bowling emporium, The Crossroads, in Moira, N.Y.
On top of all of this there’s a new low price: $250 Canadian, which includes, two nights accommodation at the luxurious five star motel, dining lounge and bowling emporium, The Crossroads, two drinks in the bar each night, two breakfasts, two rounds of golf with cart -- one Wednesday and one Thursday -- at Malone Golf and Country Club, and one round at Cedar Glen Golf and Country club on Friday on the way home.
There will, of course, be a top-quality embroidered golf shirt and as many assorted goodies as can be begged, borrowed and stolen by the Paraphernalia and Accoutrements Committee (P&AC).
Last year’s move to minimal prizes has been deemed a failed experiment and this year all kinds of goodies will be available, including as much junk as deemed advisable by the P&AC.
We expect a smaller entry this year than in the past and we welcome that because it means the idiot quotient will be lower, but 24 invitations will be sent.
The final date for entry into The Summer Solstice 2000™ -- and it won’t be changed under any circumstances -- is May 1.
What do you need to submit by May 1? $250 Canadian. This will look after your total cost at the luxurious five-star motel, dining lounge and bowling emporium The Crossroads (actual cost including tax is $200 Canadian which must be paid in cash), the price of your golf shirt or whatever piece of memorabilia we decide to go for and the cost of the round and cart at Cedar Glen.
As an aside, Friday is a mandatory round for Solsticians™ which is good and what is better is that it’s $2 day at the course, which means beer costs $2.
What this all means is that after May 1, you don’t have anything to worry about: Show up at the luxurious five-star motel, dining lounge and bowling emporium The Crossroads in Moira and the only cash outlay will be for a few libations and the odd mouthful of food (of course, if you have a mouth the size of Mulligan’s that could run into big money!)
Foursomes and tee times will be posted as soon after May 1 as is feasible, i.e. when Malone will let us book the times.
The Standing Committee on Complaints and Protests remains unchanged with for-life members Gord Grant, Danny Malanchuk and Big Head.
The only other committee appointed so far is the Paraphernalia and Accoutrements Committee: Co-Chairmen TFN (Dave Turner), Ed Champagne. Recording Secretary Mike Clearyourthroat.
A transportation committee will be formed later.
Refunds: Naturally with $250 upfront some people may be concerned about their cash. Our refund policy will be generous and it’s this: If you die we keep your money. If there’s a real family crisis, the refund will be $220 or $225, depending on the cost of the shirt. However, if you merely don’t show up and we have to pay a penalty to the hotel, it will come out of the $250.
If you have any problem with this policy take it to the Standing Committee on Complaints and Protests.
By the way, the scoring this year will be done by Malanchuk and Eddie. And, I’m assured, they’ll try to get it right.
You $250 cheque or cash must be deposited with Ed at Puzzles by May 1. And since that’s a Monday, let’s make that the initial meeting of The Summer Solstice 2000 at Puzzles Fine Dining and Beer Joint. Time 7 p.m.
Nil Nisi Bonum et Feckli