Solsticians:

It’s that time of year again, Christmas party time!

Yep, the date is set, the venue has been chosen and we expect you all to show up and party hearty.

The date: Monday, December 6. The place: Puzzles Fine Dining and Beer Joint. And it all begins at 7 p.m. or thereabouts.

We urge you ALL to arrive by taxi or bus or have a friend drop you off. Go home by cab or bus or have a friend pick you up. The Solstice advocates safe driving on Monday, December 6.  For those who don't heed this advice, we'll have an advocate (Big Head) on site to bail you out.

We hope to have a smashing night and Ed implores you all to drink heavily. He needs a good night.

Do not bring friends. This is invitation only and we’d hate to have to throw people out—or have them thrown out by the Sergeant-at Arms, Mulligoon or Big Head.

While this is not an annual meeting there are some small items of business to be handled. So we ask that you show up sober enough remember whether you are appointed to head a committee.  (Are you listening Mulligoon?)

Eddy has promised some complimentary fare. Yours truly is hoping for fries, but we’ll probably get those fucking wings again.

The chairman is hoping for perogies, chicken paprika –paprika has been banned in Hungary!!--or bean sprout sandwiches, but I fear he’ll be out of luck. 

The Chink, of course, will scarf down anything set on the table while TFFN will drink anything put on the table. (That’s assuming Bob The Cop doesn’t steal it first).

Luche, still clinging to his Rookie of the Year title, wants meatballs and has promised a round for his pals if he gets them. We’ll provide some Geritol for the WOG and Willie the Wop will take anything that’s free.

Andrew, naturally, will try to get out without paying and Old Folks (or Mr. Golf) will leave early because he’s Pussy Whipped.

Mulligoon and Big Al have promised some more tales about their sensitive conversation with the cab driver who just happened to be wearing a turban.

Duj undoubtedly will regale us with Tales from the Reserve while putting back a few Black Labels and The Whore will trade secrets with Kevin (who needs a nickname) at the next table.

Steve Tucson will tell Etch stories about the beauties of Guadalajara while Etch proves what any Statistician can tell you: If you have one foot in the fire and the other in a bucket of ice, statistically you are perfectly comfortable. Neither will pay a bit of attention to the other.

Big Head will knock back the pints, called for birds and try to drum up business for Farber and Robillard. Of course, since no one listens to him he’ll be whistling in the dark.

During all of this Eddy will be making a bloody nuisance of himself, trying to tell the Tenured Solsticians™ what to do, telling anyone who will listen how he’d run the Solstice™, correcting TFFN’s swing, swallowing copious amounts of beer and then rye and Pepsi, calling Gordo names and finally serving up some food HE likes.

Anyway, be there.