Myrtle 1998
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Myrtle Beach 98

MB98

Schedule

The Poindexter Family Resort
Departure to MBThu Feb 26 14:30
Arrival in MBFri. Feb 27 12:20MB National South

Amazing...made it all the way here...thank God for input on the way or we might have been here too early (read: Some idiot thought he knew where he was going). After a couple of "gee...I'm sure the last quarter tank will take us 200 miles" (read: not in your dreams). we finally pulled into Myrtle Beach.

Golf ...What golf.?!?!...

No scores are to be reported from today , as Eddie declared this to be a practice day. Good news for some of the boys.

Following the advice of  "some idiot to be named later", the boys had, what I can only suppose to be a lovely dinner, at a local cafeteria for hamburgers as proposed by some "thirty-something-jock-sniffer".  Personally, I went for a beer...

Thundershowers tonight and hot(72) and sunny for Saturday.

Tomorrow is another day...

 

Sat. Feb 28 12:04Azalea Sands
Off to Myrtle Beach North and of course that means Dick's Rude Bar, a source of constant abuse for the customers. Just like being back at Puzzles.

Thundershowers woke all....all too early, but a little prayer and the only-too-real fear of having to go bowling with Nino (world class Bocci player evidently) persuaded the weather gods to smile upon us for an excellent day of low-70's and sunshine.

Reality reared its ugly head with horrible scores to match. The century-mark now seems a valid starting point. Seems everyone broke a hundred..... some on the 17th, some on the 18th and some on the 14th...Oh well..evidently tomorrow is not another day, just the same one with a different flavor. Speaking of flavors (nice segue) Dick's was as expected....rude, noisy and expensive but the food was good so what the...

Some of the F.I.'s are looking forward to Kareoke (sick Ed-iots)... more power to them. Some of the saner members of the crew, however, will be staying in to drink themselves silly.

Scores will follow just as soon as Eddie and Gordo renew their acquaintance. Seems things are a tad icy in room 146 just now.

A private note to my darling Brenda, a.k.a. Gordo's taxi: Sorry about the email, but I fell down. It must have been more bad ice in my drink. Oh yeah.. the bad news is that Nino (my roomie) insists on pouring martoonies ....but I've only had tee... so don't worry...

Sun. Mar 1 12:16Blackmoor
More nice weather expected...great clubhouse...course was in excellent condition despite being wet. Highlights were few today. Other than Derek's ability to sink several 50+ foot putts and Eddy's inability to use a golf cart parking break which resulted in the cart careening (unencumbered with passengers) down a hill into the swamp. After repeated bleats from Eddie "Please Stop !!" the cart came to a rest mired to the axle. El Gordo came to his rescue and play resumed.

Dropped in to Murphy's Law(one of the better sports bars), to quaff several beverages and partake of the local cuisine.

Mon Mar 2 12:30Willbrook
Willbrook Plantation - Pawley's Island is probably one of the finest courses the lads will have a chance to play.

The "butterflea" (Eddie dressed in a yellow day-glow shirt and socks to match yet!! Thanks Helen) had another glorious outing, sadly with a score to match. Evidently he's still adding it up. "Butterflea" seems to be how Nino pronounces "Butterfly"

Almost accident of the day: Ernie in a waste bunker, facing a row of vertical railroad ties two feet high, but only three feet from them. His next shot, due to the rebound, nearly takes off his head! But, showing a speed of foot unusual in a man of his advanced years, he does a step somewhat akin to the tango,and manages to get out of the way. Gordo immediately signs up for dancing lessons.

Even Etch defied the laws of gravity, by skipping a ball seven times off a pond to land on the fringe, this from an elevated tee, much to amazement of gawking onlookers.

Grant, Mulligan and The WOG (The World's Oldest Golfer), were nonplussed.
Not to be outdone, Ernie(The WOG) then put three good shots in a row to par the hole. This is a feat something like the Second Coming. Go figure....

Tue Mar 3 12:00River Oaks
Closest course to the hotel... Therefore all will be out and about tonight getting silly since we get to sleep in an extra fifteen minutes.

Nice try guys... It's a good thing that Derek is the rookie, that way he thought that leaving him behind at the golf course was some sort of initiation.. He was pretty good natured about it, a few rounds helped, but still when the bus driver is some "thirties something jock sniffer with his own agenda" ( is this starting to sound familiar ?), I guess you take your chances.

On a better note: Ernie had another par, Etch played Moses again with a wet-skipper and Eddie had the game of three people's lives( that's a lot of strokes).

Derek finally got lucky by being told to piss off and collect the $250 from the blackjack machine.

However, Mulligan went to bed only to find Eddie sound asleep in it. Seems he was pacing himself (....and then hit the hot-tub) then fell asleep at the first opportunity. Much hoopla ensued, requiring the awakening of Eddy's roomie Gordo (nice nightshirt) who then denied any knowledge of the participants of this fiasco. Who knows where the F.I. wound up!!

Scores continue to soar... Thank God for any kind of handicapping system...

Last time I stay sober...I've just discovered that my roomie snores...
Kennel-cough continues to plague (perhaps an accurate choice of disease) the boys, but we raided a pharmacy today and expect all to be well tomorrow. Personally, I think it's scurvy....definitely nothing to stop sneezing about..

Stay Tuned !

Wed Mar 4 12:12The Wizard
Schedule to play The Witch but evidently the back-nine is still under water. The weather was on the chilly side, but it was sunny and windy.

The sickies included Eddie, Derek, Al, Nino and Ernie who had a dose of the Aztec two-step which he helped with a few belts of Kaopektate (or whatever).

The water took its toll with more than a few balls finding their way to watery graves.
Eddie was extremely quiet, saying he had the flu. Something the like the old story of it "must have been the fish" if you get my drift. The beauty of Euclid being a bit off color is that he's quiet.

However, it also means that there are fewer Eddyisms to be had. He still manages the odd beauty like: "If that ball wasn't in the water, it wouldn't be wet." 
Whatever the hell that means.

Thu. Mar 5 12:12Glen Dornoch
Great course...shame about how most of played it.

Yes, we did ask for one at the Pro Shop, but...
"Oh..Is there a beer called that ?"
So much for a decent single-malt scotch to start the day.

Two shots of note: Long par five, Gorilla Mulligan 200 from the pin. Out comes his three wood. A stupendous swing! The ball takes off like an Exocet. There is no height on his ball. Suddenly, a tremendous thunking sound. Mulligan suddenly hops sideways as his ball rockets toward him. It hits a sign on the fairway 40 yards ahead of him and it ends up 40 yards behind him. Great shot, Terrence.

Now it's Al's shot. Trees to the right. Water to the left. No way this ball will get wet, as Al slashes a shot 'sort of forward', but as Ed would say, a bit right. Bang! It hit a goddam tree and ends up in the water, 60 yards left.

Off to the "Outback" ( a local steakhouse) for the best steak and lobster in town

Etch , Dennis and Derek graciously accepted the offerings of the local blackjack table (enough to stay another week for some), but alas Derek, being the gentleman(sic) he is, insisted upon out-staying his welcome and returning all funds.

Fri. Mar 6 12:12Heather Glen
Prettiest of the courses we played to date. One of the older courses, but one if the better ones. Derek was on a trek through the woods. It's probably just as well that no one told him about the snakes. Of course, with all that scotch in you, many snakes may have  died that day....

Hopefully someone will remember where we were for dinner, 'cause I don't..

Sat. Mar 7 9:08Man O' War
Only in Myrtle Beach would they fill in a lake with a golf course.
Lunch at the club was enjoyed by all...
especially when the golf rep( name to remembered later) showed up and to hello to Mr. Grenouille (Eddy's latest moniker).
Great pork sandwiches (evidently an inspiration for a Puzzle's item).
Return to OttawaMarch 7 '98
Lovely drive if you're sleeping somewhere... not to be for some...

Only two stops but....... ptomaine was king.......

Thank God for the duty free shop..

Arrival in OttawaMarch 8 '98

The vacation is over for Eddy's staff...

Adjusted scores will be posted whenever Eddie sobers up enough to pass on the information.

The names have not been changed to incriminate the guilty.